Jewish Comedians

This is one crazy blog.  Coming out of amnesia is very bizarre.

I think about the comedy people I’ve worked with over the years.  The first one was Groucho Marx.  He had a show called “People Are Funny.”  I got called in to see if I could liven up the show a bit, because as Groucho said, “Turns out – people aren’t funny.”  Groucho got his name honestly.  He was really kind of rude and nasty to me, he was upset because I was so little.  Thinking back, I think I was about five years old and I was always brought in on a set in the middle of the night, because I was brought there by my nightmare people.  Groucho was right, really, who was I to tell a seasoned professional how to be funny.  It was Zeppo who wrote the scripts for the Marx Brothers and Zeppo wasn’t hired to help Groucho’s show.

I thought the show could have a secret word, and have a duck come down from the ceiling when people said it.  (In honor of Duck Soup)  I thought of something else too, but I can’t remember now what it was.  It’s hard to think of something funny, when people aren’t nice to you.  It’s hard to do someone a favor when you’re five years old and brought out in the middle of the night and expected to perform.  After I thought of the second funny thing for the show, Groucho apologized.  He said, “Kid, I’m sorry for the way I treated you, but I’m upset, and it’s late.  My daughter applied to a club and she was turned away because she’s Jewish.”  I had Groucho explain, and he said his daughter had applied for membership in a swim club that Jewish people were not allowed into.  And then kind of over the shoulder he said to one of his aids, “And she’s only half Jewish.”

I said quietly to one of my nightmare people, “If she’s half Jewish, she should apply to go into the pool up to her waist.”

My handler told me that was very funny; did I know that was funny?  I looked at him askew and said, “Of course I know that’s funny, that’s why I said it.”  So my nightmare person repeated it to Groucho.

Groucho said to me, “That’s funny kid.  You’re – you are funny.”

We brought out the couples for the show People Are Funny and ran through the bit to see if Groucho could get them to say the secret word.

It took some doing and it got to be pretty funny.  I told Groucho to play it as though he were Groucho.  Turns out he just didn’t know how to play being a game show host, so I told him to, “Just be Groucho, that’s what everybody thought was funny, so just do that.”

When that was all over, and things got straightened out, and everyone was pretty sure the show would be a lot funnier; I asked Groucho, “Why would your daughter want to be a member of any club that didn’t want her as a member?”

He said it was a beautiful club, I should see it.

I said I didn’t understand why his daughter couldn’t become a member because she’s half Jewish.

Groucho said, “That’s because you’re young.  You’ll understand.  You’re smart, it’s all around you.  You’ll get it soon enough.”

I said, “I don’t want to get it.  I want you to change it, so when I get older I won’t have to get it.”

“Change it?  You want me to change it?  How could I possibly change it?”  He said angrily.

“You could do it with humor.  You’ve got two funny lines.  You could tell the press that you’re unhappy that your daughter couldn’t get into the club because she’s half Jewish.  Why doesn’t the club let her in up to her waist?  Then you could say the other line, the one that comes from you, ‘I wouldn’t want to be a member of any club that would have me as a member.’  It’s funny and it makes a point.  Maybe, people just don’t think about it?”

“How would that change anything?”  Groucho asked.

“I think just by people knowing what’s going on – I think that would change things,”  I told him.  “If you won’t do it for me, do it for your daughter.”

Groucho didn’t agree, but, guess what, he said that to the press the very next day.  I don’t know whether his daughter got into the club, but things did change.  I never did have to know or understand the way things were between Christian and Jews.  It’s better now, I think.  I did get to know how things were between whites and blacks.  That’s not much better now, I think.

I named the Rolling Stones and met John Lennon when I was 8 or 9.  John Lennon said I was an old soul.  I think he may have been right.

A few dozen years after Groucho’s comments, Mel Brooks became a very famous Jewish comedian.  I’ve worked with Mel a few times.

Latter, I worked for Seinfeld.  I believe Jerry Seinfeld’s Jewish.  That memory was erased.  I feel so cheated.  He was later told I wasn’t “normal.”  Sorry Jerry!  I think you’re terrific. I’m normal – the rest of the cult is not.  And after that, Jon Stewart is the most popular, funniest late-night host on TV.  Fuck Neilson.  Neilson is one big fat lie.  Now, Jon Stewart can say he’s Jewish, out loud and on TV, without shame.  Well maybe not without shame, because, since when can a Jew say anything without shame?  Maybe before Moses?  No, Maybe before Abraham?  Oh, Hell, I don’t know.  (I never worked with Jon.)

Thanks to Groucho, Cheeko, Harpo (Nice Guy), Zeppo Marx.

That’s what this whole blog is about.  Changing the world one person at a time.  The world’s not that big anymore.

We’re all brothers. We’re all black, check out the results of the genome project.

So you see, I proved the point I’ve been trying to make with these fifty past blog entries – the world can change one person at a time, all we have to do is – point out the foibles.

Think Pease!  We can do it!

About Grace Gardener

THE NSA AND THE MOOCS WON'T LET ANYONE GET THROUGH TO ME. THEY MAY EVEN HURT YOU IF YOU TRY. See the pages in the tabs of this blog, Grace Gardener, and, A Little About Lynn Mickelsen. If you know me and I don't get back to you, then the email was intercepted. Never talk to anyone claiming to be me without asking questions to be sure. All site posts beginning 4/1/16 will be on I’m not doing this for attention. I have 107 broken bones, zero disks in my back, and I’m exhausted. I need to get through to the people who knew me for credibility: but the NSA blocks my every move. I have to have the same acknowledgement and respect for my judgement I had while I was a ghost director in Hollywood and when I was CEO of the Rand Corp. Rand has been able to keep my work anonymous and credited to other people so they can collect my pay and residuals. They figured as long as they’re erasing my memory, and taking credit for my inventions, music, acting and directing; they may as well keep the money I earned. Also, the money would be proof that I did the work, so they’ve kept me poor all of my life. The reason the conspirators made plans in front of me was because they were assured I would “Never Remember” them, their visit and the things they planned. They talked in a kind of code that I have since figured out. I would have turned them in after the meeting had I been allowed to remember. I have to operate the way I do to keep away from my captors. GRR taught me most of the tactics I use. (Now he won’t help because his memory of me is implanted.) I know it angers some corrupt NSA Officers, but it’s a fact that I was a prisoner and slave at the Rand Corporation, and the NSA helped and still helps to keep me that way. I have to make evasive maneuvers to keep me, my daughters, this country and the world safe. Meanwhile I have no where to turn. I still feel like a candle in the wind. My name was Lynn Mickelsen while I was a prisoner in a blue house and slave of a “club” based in northern New Jersey. If you know me PLEASE DON'T TRY TO CONTACT ME THROUGH THE RAND CORPORATION OR ANY OF MY FORMER EMPLOYERS OR ANY CONTACT FROM MORE THAN 9 YEARS AGO. People who tried doing this are being killed. Some people know the cult know it with a name similar to The Builder Berg Society or the Skull and Dagger Society. There's a HUGE bounty on my head that the cult I escaped from has no intention of paying. The plan is to have me killed and then to kill the person trying to collect the bounty. I thought up the plan and the amount because I thought it was going to be the plot in a movie. I told the people who wanted the plan, "This is one movie no one will want to see." In short, anyone who kills me will be killed within 24 hours and will never see a dime. Now I'm RVing but I’m still a prisoner in that I can't get in touch with anyone, and no one can get in touch with me, except in person. I found out about the other life I’d been living during a grueling five-hour conversation I detail in my Book, ‘the Conversation’ The reason I knew nothing about my own life was because I suffered selective amnesia - induced by the cult that owned me - with drugs, torture and electricity. 'The Conversation' is available in paperback at The ebook is free. I worked nights and weekends naming products, bands and internet services, or anything else the "club" wanted me to do. I would wake up in the morning and remember nothing about the work and meetings, and I never received ANY money. I could only remember my 9 - 5 job at a bank. I’ve written the eBook, ‘Garden of the Light,’ as a lighter, inspirational compliment to the eBooks – ‘the Conversation,’ and, 'the Truth about Lynn Mickelsen’ which are intended to shed new, totally different light on the current world situation and change the world for the better. Apocalypse is a Greek word meaning, ‘the Revealing of Ancient Knowledge.’ I consider the book, ‘the Conversation,’ as Apocalypse because it reveals the ancient knowledge. We'll have World Peace once we abolish child abuse. My view of Apocalypse has no battle, no war, no army. I believe the knowledge in ‘the Conversation’ is enough to save the world. The blog lists just some of the accomplishments I achieved as a slave, to let everyone I've helped over the past sixty years, who I am. I will finally claim my life! If you’re a George Lucas fan you may remember some of these strange stories that involve him. I met George on the set of American Graffiti; we got engaged when the movie wrapped. I was taken away and George was told I was dead. Five years later I was hired to figure out how to make Luke Skywalker’s farm vehicle fly. The people who handled me (owned me) forgot that I had worked for this director once before on American Graffiti and they told him I was dead. I arrived and solved Lucas’s problem for him and he tearfully remembered me and told me what had happened five years before. I stayed on the set of Star Wars long enough to name the Star Wars characters and solve another animatronics problem with Chewy’s costume. I was told it was time to leave and started to follow my jailers the way I had been programmed to, when George asked, “When will I see you again?” I began to say, “Oh, you’ll see me again,” but I realized I wasn’t certain of that because once before, when we got engaged, I never saw him again. So I turned around and started walking back toward Lucas and I asked, “How about now? Can I stay with you now? Because I don’t know when I’ll be able to see you again.” George thought a second and agreed that I should stay. As I was walking back to him I saw his expression change and looked over my shoulder to see the man I had been following holding a gun on me. I kept walking because now I was sure that the story Lucas had told me about what happened five years ago, was going to happen again and I couldn’t allow that. Someone had obviously been playing with my life, and I couldn’t have that, so I kept walking toward Lucas and away from the man with the gun. Lucas’s expression changed again, this time his face was filled with fear and horror. I turned around and now there were three men holding guns on George Lucas. There was only about 20 feet of desert between us but I had to go with them in order to save Lucas’s life. So, if you’re a fan of George Lucas you may remember someone being stolen off the Star Wars set at gunpoint. That was me. Years later I was abducted and stolen from the Academy Awards. You may remember that incident - that was me. Years later I was abducted and stolen from the Elton John’s post Oscar Party that benefits his AIDs foundation. You may remember that incident - that was me. Years later Harrison Ford and George Lucas devised a plan to steal me off of the set of The Fugitive. This time I was shot with a coma drug. They used a hypodermic needle that went through my coat and slacks and into my thigh. Two bogus ambulance men came in a stolen ambulance and took me away. The only other time I saw George face to face was during the making of Howard the Duck. George Lucas and Steven Spielberg made that ridiculous movie to try to rescue me again, in case you were wondering why they made that movie. I was supposed to see Lucas again on a set of Indiana Jones but this time it was George who was drugged and abducted. This makes 8 times George Lucas tried to rescue me. I’ve spoken with Lucas on the phone only a few times over the past 40 years, and those phone calls and the conversations we had while shooting American Graffiti, are what makes up Yoda’s philosophies and Star Wars 7 – the Force Awakens. The reason the people who owned me don’t allow George and I to get together is because they don’t want World Peace. War makes them rich. The greed of a handful of people keep the word in the turmoil it’s in. The people in the entertainment industry know me as the woman with no memory and no name. If you want to know more about me, check out my blog; or read my free ebooks the Truth about Lynn Mickelsen, and, the Conversation. I‘m still trying to walk those 20 feet.
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