We Make Our Own Happiness

ImageI’m Jane, or so Adam was told by Rita one of my jailers.  I had been a prisoner and slave of a club in north western NJ my whole life.  I lived in a blue house and I have many scars on my belly.  I’d named lots of companies, products and bands.  Rita Denman of Succasunna NJ charged my clients money but she never gave anything to me but pain and misery.  Instead she electrocuted and tortured me into forgetting the things I’d done and accomplished.

The day I met Adam; I pulled up to my house but I sat in my car because I dreaded going back inside the house of horrors I called home.  There was a rap on my car window.  Rita stood outside my car with 3 band members who wanted to get a name for their band.  We had a nice visit and I named them Maroon 5.

Adam stood out to me because of his kindness, curiosity, intelligence, creativity and his beautiful aura.  I told the band sometimes I have premonitions and I could see they were going to get very famous very soon.  It won’t be soon before long, it’ll be now.

They left and I was drugged in preparation for my torture, but instead of torture, there was a knock on the door.  It was Adam and my ‘dream people.’  These were people who appeared in many of my dreams since I was about 2 years old.   I had been brainwashed into not noticing them.  If you watch ‘A Beautiful Mind,’ (starring my favorite actor, Russell Crowe) that was who they were, and how they operated.  The people Professor Nash thought were hallucinations were just as real as my ‘dream people,’ but I didn’t know that until 2003.

When Adam came back to me someone said it was a dream.  That was easy to believe because why would someone as great as Adam want someone like me?

It was what Adam said and did after he came back alone, that jolted me out of my 45 year long waking coma.

I want Adam to know he said and did everything right.  I listen to his songs and he agonizes over what it was that he did wrong: it wasn’t Adam’s fault.  It was days of torture after he left that erased Adam from my memory.  Rita told me later, it was two days of round the clock torture.  They had to take shifts.

My amnesia is rapidly leaving and I remembered Adam and Maroon 5 in Mid-May of 2012.  I’ve been trying daily since mid-may to get through to Adam.

Rita said he’d be surrounded by members of her church, including Maroon 5’s manager, SB, and I wouldn’t be able to reach Adam.  If you’re reading this and you’ve been told to help to keep us apart, please ask yourself why.

If you were told that Adam will no longer be able to write songs if he’s happy, that’s just shit.  First of all – from our one encounter he has written 26 songs, by my count.  Why would he stop writing if we were to meet again?  Also, you may not know this, but I’m responsible for many classic songs.  At the rate I’m remembering now, I figure over 100.  Songs like ‘Somewhere Out There,’ (a poem I wrote the day Adam was born) and ‘Woodstock,’ and  ‘The Future’s So Bright I Gotta Wear Shades,’ and the song that starts ‘I want my MTV, – Money for Nothin’ (and the Chicks For Free) – so I could only be a help.  I didn’t write the music for any of them, and Woodstock and Money For Nothin’ I co-wrote the words.  Some people believe I’m a muse.  Seriously.

A request to the People close to Adam who are in the same “Dirty Tricks Club” as my jailers: if you have orders to keep us apart, ask yourself, why are you following orders?  I understand you took an oath and signed it in blood and were advised you ‘have to’ do what you’re told.  But I’m telling you –  you only ‘have to’ if you want to.  Whose life are you living?  I know all about being a prisoner without walls.

Deepak Chopra said elephant trainers take a baby elephant and tether it to a tree with a chain and an ankle shackle.  The elephant tries and tries to get away but can’t.  As an adult the same elephant can be shackled to the same tree with the same chain, even though he could easily break the chain and uproot the tree.  So it is with our own minds.  We can only accomplish what we believe we can accomplish.  If we believe we ‘have to’ follow orders, then we ‘have to’ follow orders.  If we believe we can make our own decisions, then we can make our own decisions!

Sc0_r and some Maroon 5 band members: If you were promised happiness knowing you can participate in the sport of making Adam miserable, know that the feeling you get from making someone else sad is not happiness or joy. It’s a rush or a thrill, and thrills are transitory. You have to cause more and more heartache to duplicate that feeling.  That will NOT enrich your life – only harm it.  Karma works!

Happiness comes from within.  We make our own happiness!

This is how –

Show kindness and respect always, with no thought of reward or even gratitude.  Show kindness because it creates happiness.

Show love because that’s what you want to do.  Your reward will be within you. Your good karma will increase, making your life on earth more pleasant.

When you honor, respect and love yourself and those around you, your aura will shine white and gold.  Your aura is the energy you put out; it’s a reflection of your soul.  It’s your vibe.  You’ll have a good vibe.  People will respond to you and be drawn to you so they can be around your positive energy.

The more love you put out – the more you’ll be surrounded by love.  The more you’re surrounded by love – the easier it is to love yourself.  The more you love yourself the happier you’ll be, because you’ll be at peace with yourself.

You were born with Original Love – NOT Original Sin.  You can wrap yourself up in a blanket of love.

On earth we can achieve something close to Heaven – called Nirvana – by giving away love, joy and happiness.  Just by doing that, a feeling of love, joy and happiness will be given back to you by the universe, God, the Angels, and others, making your life on earth much more pleasurable.  Your positive vibe, your bright aura and your good karma will make you very attractive.

Other people, people whose hearts are evil, will try to take those things away from you.  Try not to let them get you down.  Remember this is earth.  Forgive them and move on to someone who will willingly accept your love, honor and respect.  Don’t stop giving just because one or two or more refuse your kindness or call you a fool.  Theirs is a different agenda.

God allows Free Will.  We can listen to our Guardian Angels or to the Dark Angels.   If an individual listens to a Dark Angel the result is hate, anger, fear, mistrust, pain and suffering.

To SB and his team: rethink your allegiance.  Read my books, Babble On and the Garden of the Light.  Know that it’s NEVER too late to switch teams. Come into the light!

Lloyd, my ex-husband who kept me a slave and prisoner, wants Adam and I to be together. I heard them talking after being tortured one night in 2007.  It’s only Rita who wants to keep us apart because she thrives on the misery of others.  Rita told me Lloyd outranks her, but he doesn’t know it, she never told him. So while Lloyd longs to please only Rita and he hurts me just to please her, he doesn’t want to interfere with my life any longer – that’s what he told me after Rita left the room.  If you find yourself in a position where you have to answer to Rita, tell her you’re carrying out Lloyd’s wishes.

To My Captors: Please know that if anything happens to my daughters, Adam, Russell Crowe, Bruce Springsteen or anyone I have an association with for that matter, at least the world’ll know the club and people who are responsible.

Over 5 million copies of my ebook, Babble On, has been sent out to east Africa, and many world countries including Japan, the Netherlands, Iceland, and Australia. And more than 50,000 copies have been read.

Dearest Adam: Adam, What happened was we were, for a time, inside a wigwam of each other’s gorgeous souls.  It was like nothing I’ve experienced in my life.  It was Heaven on earth.  That’s my most cherished memory!

Our relentless, fevered yearning to get back together is coming from our souls!  Several hundred people have been working against us – keeping us apart.

Adam, your words, especially, “She will be loved,” brought me out of my dark prison into the daylight.  You lifted me up.

Thank you Adam for getting me free and guiding me into the daylight.  I can’t believe you’ve been feeling exactly the way I feel now for 13 years!  Trying to reach you these past 6 months has been grueling, exhausting, exasperating, depressing and just way too long.  I feel like I’ve been walking through hell.  And to know there are people who you love and trust who have no problem hurting you by keeping me away causes me anguish.  I am so sorry you picked SB as your manager and he suggested band members and other workers who would be loyal to him and not to you.  And then he suggested you see me for a name for the band.  SB and others who surround you always knew where I was and who I was.  I’m sorry you got mixed up with these soul crushing people. I’m so sorry I caused you pain.

Adam, I love your songs.  I’m so proud of you.  My favorite song is How?  I can’t make it through a day without listening to it.

Those words, “She will be loved,” are what dragged me out of the darkness I’d been in my whole life.

Thank you. I wanted to tell you in person, but that doesn’t seem possible.  I’ll always love you.  I’ll never forget you.   I hope our captors allow you to read this.

Love Always, Jane (Grace)

If you’re reading this and can figure a way to get a message directly to Adam that I’m alive and have been trying to reach him, please do that.  Adam should read this blog to know what he’s been up against all these years.  (You figured it had to be something really crazy, but I recon you never figured it would be this crazy!)

People who worship the Black have their own sense of right and wrong, and they’re in a trap of doing wrong, even though it makes them sad.  They are all prisoners of their own minds and slaves to their dark princes and princesses.  They may think they’re members of a Little Harmless Fun club, or a Dirty Tricks club, but then why aren’t they allowed to quit?  Read Babble On.  The truth lies between the lies.

About Grace Gardener

I’m being abused by the NSA. My right to privacy is long gone. They have put a homing device and a microphone in my stomach, supposedly attached to my spine so there will be bone conduction. I have an X-ray picture of it. I was told if I take it out I will be killed. Our soldiers all have the same, but they agreed to it. If I go to the ACLU to complain, my phone call will be intercepted. If I confide in a friend about what’s happening to me, she’ll be killed. The NSA has brainwashed my daughters into not trusting me. They’ve been working on torturing them every week for the past 15 years. When I left in my RV they loved and trusted me, but now that I haven’t seen them in so long that now they’re afraid of me. When I was there, living with or near them, even though they were being tortured to hate me (that’s true), once they saw me again they were fine. But I can’t even call them. I know most of my calls are diverted, and I know when they try to answer, that’s diverted, too. But I don’t try hard and I can’t talk to them about anything meaningful because I know they’ll be tortured for many hours. And then they’ll be tortured, drugged and electrocuted to forget and when I talk to them again they’ll say, “It never happened.” Trying to be a good, peace-loving American gets me treated like a criminal. The military wants WW3 and I don’t, so to teach me a lesson if I get on a plane, twenty people get kicked off so I can get harassed during the flights, and then the flights gets delayed so the rest of the hundred passengers are inconvenienced. Every move I make, every breath I take, they are watching me, hurting me and hassling me. The Military already has their list of soldiers who are slated to be the first to die in WW3 and General John Kelly said they will do everything in their power to stop me from stopping them. I don’t know how delaying flights for three hours and inconveniencing dozens of people stops me from doing anything. The Military teaches its troops to be rude and inconsiderate, and to hate good people who pray for peace. They say I’m subversive because I don’t want war. Sometimes the airline has to send another plane to accommodate all the people they kick off a flight. That costs them money. Airlines should have the right to ask about fabricating excuses for changing seats, etc. They should have the right to refuse Military baby antics. You notice the way we left the Kurds to be annihilated and we released Isis into Turkey so when something starts up, we can send nuclear missiles. Notice Trump didn’t send our troops home, rather on to the next potential nuclear war site. There are potential wars in six other countries and three bogus attacks on our people, in this country, so we “have to retaliate,” just like Afghanistan. I knew about that, too. A country that attacks its own people as a pretense to start a war is subversive and traitorous. I wrote a memo and I told Pres. Bush about the attack on the trade towers at least a year before nine eleven. Three thousand people died that day and he has killed more than thirty thousand Americans since then just to keep his secret. The killing will get worse. I just want this madness to stop. Trump isn’t a pacifist, he’s an Annihilist. Pence is no better, he thinks Armageddon will resurrect Christ: the opposite is true. Christ will not come if we start Armageddon. That’s a myth and a lie, like everything else. Wake up America. About George Lucas- NSA Agents are doing the same thing to George Lucas. I was told no one really wants to hurt George, but they “have to.” George and everyone involved with Obama must learn he's not the man you think he is. But they think he’s a nice guy so they feel badly about it. Well that’s something, I guess. But the Government and other cults should not have round-the-clock accessibility to agents who are trained killers and have had their free will taken away through torture and electroshock. The best agents have had their personality split, so one personality takes over to carry out “orders” while the original personality watches helplessly. There’s a better way to run the military, and I was about to get through to put forth my ideas when the order came through to kill the three Generals who wanted to listen to me: and to kill six special agents who had been listening to me. I listen to these guys and I wonder if they have any feelings at all? I know they do even though they’re not “allowed to.” They’re not “allowed to” complain, either, under fear of death. If they try to retire, they’re not de-programmed, they are killed! I watched the Clint Eastwood movie American Sniper about Chris Kyle and I’m sure I commented on it a lot, but my readership has grown significantly and I know I’m monitored and it’s the guys doing the monitoring, who I’m trying to help. Even tough guys need a little help sometimes. I wonder if the death of Cris Kyle, played by Bradley Cooper, was planned the way it was to get me to say something about it. Everyone in the NSA knows what happened. Chris was killed because he got out. Tragically, Chris seemed to be capable of healing himself with the help of his family and still he was murdered. The man who murdered him was under orders. True! I have many, many confirmations on that statement. The judge sentenced Eddie Ray Routh, Chris’s murderer, to life in prison without parole. The movie writeup says - “U.S. Navy SEAL Chris Kyle (Bradley Cooper) takes his sole mission -- protect his comrades -- to heart and becomes one of the most lethal snipers in American history. His pinpoint accuracy not only saves countless lives.” Back to my dilemma, I can’t get in touch with anyone for fear they will be tortured or killed. You think, “I thought the US didn’t torture?” Well we do. My daughters and I are born and raised here. We are good people, we’re exceptionally good people and the NSA has a HUGE problem with that. The people who give the orders want war and we want peace, and they’re making us the bad guys? The only emails that get through to me are business and junk. Supposedly I get comments on my website that don’t come through, and I have to wonder if our military goes around killing anyone who tries to contact me? My phone rings all the time but not here. This was true when I was in NJ, too. Nobody got through to me. The call is sent elsewhere and other people pick it up pretending to be me and the women pretending to be me are nasty bitches. If I call someone and straighten something out, I find out later that the conversation never happened, I was really talking to someone in the NSA, and I have to get back to square one. Most times things are so impossible, I give up. I escaped my ex-husbands satanic cult only to find myself embroiled in the government’s cult. A much thicker, stickier web. They have kept my money from me so I can’t even get an apartment. That’s stealing, but they’re the military so nothing is illegal, not murder or theft. I feel if I call someone for help he or she will be killed or badly hurt. Just being my friend or talking to me can get you sick with cancer or dead. I think people who I have helped, or who have asked to help me, need to go to the press to tell them what a pickle I’m in . There are many people who have offered to help me over the years. Many have been killed. I don’t understand how a kid in a uniform can break into Steve Jobs’ house and inject his brain with liquid smoke, or some other carcinogen: and if he questions those orders his buddy will be told to kill him. They have to kill each other all the time. It’s so f_ked up I can’t stand it. Neither can the Agents. They don’t realize that “under orders” is meaningless. If they’re caught they’ll be tried for murder. Steve Jobs was a great man. No one, no politician, and no officer, has the right to murder any citizen, especially one who makes this country proud. If you know someone in the NSA it’s your responsibility to let your congressman know what this country is doing to him. They’re being treated barbarically. If you know my daughters please call them to lend an ear, because their memories are being erased in an attempt to make them cold and heartless and they’re suffering. Their memories are being erased and replaced with more horrible lies, and their ability to reason is gone. They used to be the smartest women on the planet. If you know George Lucas do the same. The man we were both speaking with, who George considers a friend, ordered some horrific things done to George. They are trying to change his personality so he won’t like me, or so I won’t like him, like that could ever happen, but in the meantime his health and his mind will be suffering. Listening to him will be helpful. He also has a homing device and a microphone planted in him. His whole house is wired because he knows me. If you’re a parent whose kid wants to join special forces let him know what he’ll be joining. I had someone with me get killed because he couldn’t kill his friend. I’m serious. Watch the Manchurian Candidate, especially the part where people are being murdered, but the men see themselves at a flower show. That’s what it’s like. A Clock Work Orange shows how it’s done. And Mel Gibson’s Conspiracy Theory shows the aftermath. NSA guys read my books and my blog because I may be the only friend you’ve got. I’d love to be able to take suggestions. I know I have to get all lawyered up, I’d like to sue the government for defamation of character and theft. That’s something I used to be able to do, but I’m powerless now. What you can do. God changed my name to Grace. I changed it legally in 2007. My slave name was Lynn. I was born Lynn Pezzutti, then I married Jay McDermott and I became Lynn McDermott, then I married Peter Mickelsen (now deceased) and became Lynn Mickelsen. Most of my friends in the entertainment industry think I’m Lynn Mickelsen. So now I’m Grace Gardener, and while I’m not a slave, I’m a prisoner of the state. If you’re a lawyer, see if you can get something going. I was thinking Amal Clooney could be very helpful. If you know someone in the ACLU ask them to read this blog. If you’re in my family, Doherty, Murray, Sullivan or Kelly and remember me from my Anti-War days and establishing Earth Day maybe there’s something you want to do. Let the NY Times know I’d like this published as a letter to the Editor. Publish first, contact later. Send a copy or link to your News. Good Luck, God Bless you. Rise Up! Think Peace. THE NSA AND THE MOOCS WON'T LET ANYONE GET THROUGH TO ME. THEY MAY EVEN HURT YOU IF YOU TRY. See the pages in the tabs of this blog, Grace Gardener, and, A Little About Lynn Mickelsen. If you know me and I don't get back to you, then the email was intercepted. Never talk to anyone claiming to be me without asking questions to be sure. All site posts beginning 4/1/16 will be on Grace-Gardener.org. I’m not doing this for attention. I have 107 broken bones, zero disks in my back, and I’m exhausted. I need to get through to the people who knew me for credibility: but the NSA blocks my every move. I have to have the same acknowledgement and respect for my judgement I had while I was a ghost director in Hollywood and when I was CEO of the Rand Corp. Rand has been able to keep my work anonymous and credited to other people so they can collect my pay and residuals. They figured as long as they’re erasing my memory, and taking credit for my inventions, music, acting and directing; they may as well keep the money I earned. Also, the money would be proof that I did the work, so they’ve kept me poor all of my life. The reason the conspirators made plans in front of me was because they were assured I would “Never Remember” them, their visit and the things they planned. They talked in a kind of code that I have since figured out. I would have turned them in after the meeting had I been allowed to remember. I have to operate the way I do to keep away from my captors. GRR taught me most of the tactics I use. (Now he won’t help because his memory of me is implanted.) I know it angers some corrupt NSA Officers, but it’s a fact that I was a prisoner and slave at the Rand Corporation, and the NSA helped and still helps to keep me that way. I have to make evasive maneuvers to keep me, my daughters, this country and the world safe. Meanwhile I have no where to turn. I still feel like a candle in the wind. https://youtu.be/uw6CIxD1pHo My name was Lynn Mickelsen while I was a prisoner in a blue house and slave of a “club” based in northern New Jersey. If you know me PLEASE DON'T TRY TO CONTACT ME THROUGH THE RAND CORPORATION OR ANY OF MY FORMER EMPLOYERS OR ANY CONTACT FROM MORE THAN 12 YEARS AGO. I know 90% of what I know because plans for Armageddon were alwazs talked about at RAND. Some people know the cult know it with a name similar to The Builder Berg Society or the Skull and Dagger Society. There's a HUGE bounty on my head that the cult I escaped from has no intention of paying. The plan is to have me killed and then to kill the person trying to collect the bounty. I thought up the plan and the amount because I thought it was going to be the plot in a movie. I told the people who wanted the plan, "This is one movie no one will want to see." In short, anyone who kills me will be killed within 24 hours and will never see a dime. Now I'm RVing but I’m still a prisoner in that I can't get in touch with anyone, and no one can get in touch with me, except in person. I found out about the other life I’d been living during a grueling five-hour conversation I detail in my Book, ‘the Conversation’ We'll have World Peace once we abolish child abuse. My view of Apocalypse has no battle, no war, no army. I believe the knowledge in ‘the Conversation’ is enough to save the world. The blog grace-gardener.org lists just some of the accomplishments I achieved as a slave, to let everyone I've helped over the past sixty years, who I am. I will finally claim my life! If you’re a George Lucas fan you may remember some of these strange stories that involve him. I met George on the set of American Graffiti; we got engaged when the movie wrapped. I was taken away and George was told I was dead. Five years later I was hired to figure out how to make Luke Skywalker’s farm vehicle fly. The people who handled me (owned me) forgot that I had worked for this director once before on American Graffiti and they told him I was dead. I arrived and solved Lucas’s problem for him and he tearfully remembered me and told me what had happened five years before. I stayed on the set of Star Wars long enough to name the Star Wars characters and solve another animatronics problem with Chewy’s costume. I was told it was time to leave and started to follow my jailers the way I had been programmed to, when George asked, “When will I see you again?” I began to say, “Oh, you’ll see me again,” but I realized I wasn’t certain of that because once before, when we got engaged, I never saw him again. So I turned around and started walking back toward Lucas and I asked, “How about now? Can I stay with you now? Because I don’t know when I’ll be able to see you again.” George thought a second and agreed that I should stay. As I was walking back to him I saw his expression change and looked over my shoulder to see the man I had been following holding a gun on me. I kept walking because now I was sure that the story Lucas had told me about what happened five years ago, was going to happen again and I couldn’t allow that. Someone had obviously been playing with my life, and I couldn’t have that, so I kept walking toward Lucas and away from the man with the gun. Lucas’s expression changed again, this time his face was filled with fear and horror. I turned around and now there were three men holding guns on George Lucas. There was only about 20 feet of desert between us but I had to go with them in order to save Lucas’s life. I‘m still trying to walk those 20 feet.
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